EULOGY: 10 lessons from Joseph Tamale Mirundi

COMMENT | LEONARD RONALD EGESA |  From his own enigmatic life to his diatribes on radio against a selected personality, cause or belief unto his political choices, these are my top 10 lessons from the life of the fallen media icon Joseph Tamale Mirundi Sr.

1. Political power is all about influence and advantage

Joseph Tamale Mirundi always insisted that the real political power one wielded was measured by one’s distance from the centre of power as opposed to titles. He always emphasised that a First Lady is almost always more powerful than a Vice President because she holds higher chances of influencing the choices and decisions of a President than any other official in the Government hierarchy.

2. Always appeal to people’s selfish gain

I am not sure he had read Dale Carnegie’s “how to win friends and influence people”, but Mirundi always advised that as you seek to mobilise people to do something, show them their personal or selfish gain so they can be motivated. He always mentioned that he would be a Musevenist till death even if for purely selfish reasons like sending his son John Mirundi for postgraduate studies in Europe and saving his mother against a mob in the Kayunga 2009 riots.

3. Take Kenny Rogers’ counsel seriously

At one point he cited an incident in which he had gone to persuade the late Maj. Gen. Kasirye Ggwanga to go and ask the President to buy him the house he was occupying in Kizungu Makindye, but Ggwanga instead changed topic to a pork feast. Mirundi claimed that he knew it was time to fold ‘em and leave the man to learn from time. He was vindicated.

There are several similar incidents in which he offered his views to public officials and politicians, but they were not considered. With the passage of time vindicating him, Mirundi would dance while chanting the Luganda saying that advises one to vacate a seat for the seer (mandwa) once his prophecy is fulfilled!

4. A sizeable number in African societies are of low IQ

In his typical colourful language, he would always say that Africans tend to think that shouting obscenities at a locked padlock can unlock it. He said this while bashing MPs with questionable academic credentials and often cited his own experience in the 1990s. He claimed that after fighting @cobbo3 and @WafulaPhilip5 on a new media law, it dawned on him that it was the new reality and he had to go back to school and obtain a degree.

Despite the “open arrogance” he portrayed in radio and TV interviews, Joseph Tamale Mirundi was a humble soul ready to take advice. A testament to his above average IQ.

5. Fight for your space

Mirundi often boasted that he was the most formidable of all Presidential Press Secretaries and even coined the term “Statehouse Spokesman”. He claimed that he looked for all ways of adding value to the office and redefining it in his own way. He succeeded on this. The office has since remained a shadow since his sacking. Few Ugandans even know the current or even last two occupants.

6. Control the narrative at all costs

When asked why he always heckled his hosts on radio and TV, Mirundi often said that it is his strategy to intimidate the host and put him/her on the defensive so he (Mirundi) can control the narrative and the flow of the programme to avoid walking into traps that could have been laid by “external forces” controlling the talk show host.

7. Do not be more Catholic than the Pope

At the height of @AmamaMbabazi’s troubles with @KagutaMuseveni, Mirundi used to warn the new crop of @NRMOnline sycophants using colourful language that it is foolish for a virgin girl to go into a lodge room with a man who just had a Nnalongo (mother of twins) flee the room while limping!

8. Choose your enemies and allies wisely

In a palace with many competing factions in the wake of the inevitable Museveni succession, Joseph Tamale Mirundi chose to ally with the faction that controls military power and acted as their lapdog against the other faction that only controls the civilian sections of the administration. Reason: Uganda is largely a military state only manifesting quasi-democratic tendencies.

9. Blackmail is a powerful tool. Invest in information

When asked why he did not have a barrage of defamation law suits yet he continuously attacked public and private officials alike….. he explained that he had a lot of damaging information about judicial officers and always flashed it before them, and they played ball.

10. Game recognises game

Mirundi was always quick to recognize a sharp person and would always try to win you over to his side. He was never shy to acknowledge in public that so and so is an intelligent person. In private, Mirundi was not dismissive of dissenting views. He liked a debate. He could concede when cornered.

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Ronald Egesa is a Political & Business Strategist and renowned Software Engineer